- I am a skinny girl, trapped in a chubby girl, trapped in a skinny girl's body. (It's all about introspection, baby).
- My best friend lives in Ohio; my other best friend lives in Topanga (the best friend in Ohio has put in 25 years -- I figure she's earned first card in the main title credits, but they both get "above the artwork" status for putting up with me.)
- I was a virgin until I was 21.
- I was a mother at 29 1/2.
- I was married before I got pregnant (newsworthy these day, don't you think?)
- I can type 77 words a minute.
- I hate to type.
- I refuse to use typewriters, and have adapted all typewriter stuff for the computer.
- I work at a movie studio.
- I hate the movie business (most of the time).
- I work for a mega-corporation.
- I hate mega-corporations and what they're doing to the global economy.
- I'm studying for my BA.
- I'm planning on going for my MFA in 2006.
- I'm trying not to think how much getting my MFA will cost.
- Getting my MFA will cost approximately $20,000. (I peeked. I'm weak. So sue me.)
- I love horses and use to have one.
- I will have one again someday.
- I've had gastric bypass surgery and have lost 140 pounds.
- I've gained 8 pounds back.
- I love to read, but rarely have the time to do it for pleasure anymore.
- I have been an operatically trained lyric soprano.
- I am studying voice again for a performance in the Fall 2005.
- I have a crush on someone I shouldn't be crushing on (he's not married -- I swear!)
- I would marry just for the money -- but I only seem to fall for poor guys.
- The "someone" I'm crushing on is (I'm pretty sure) poor. (See? What'd I tell you?)
- I do not suffer fools gladly, and yet, I have a job which requires that I do just that.
- I have started three novels, two screenplays, a stageplay and a book of essays.
- I have finished none of the above.
- I once moderated a Q&A with director Frank Darabont for the now-defunct Fox Searchlab lecture series. (That's my disembodied voice you hear asking the questions.)
- I've met Lassie in person. (Can you meet a dog in person? Hmmmm...)
- I met John Wayne.
- I was once almost run over by Sean Connery. He apologized.
- I used to babysit Rachel Bilson from Fox series, The O.C. , when she was about two.
- I used to babysit C. Thomas Howell, when he was about nine or ten.
- I used to be able to do a handstand. (No more.)
- I have a cat that weighs 14 pounds. And he's not fat, either -- just huge.
- I've been to seven foreign countries, but never to Mexico or Canada.
- I've been to seven states, but only lived in two (California and Kansas).
- I've seen two American presidents in person, both Republican (Ford and Reagan).
- I love to travel, particularly by airplane.
- I want to visit New Zealand someday.
- I hate bugs, but I'm terrified (read: phobic) about spiders.
- I love reptiles, especially (non-venomous) snakes.
- I've hand-raised three litters of kittens.
- I'm not a "people person."
- I love Rock Hudson-Doris Day movies (especially Pillow Talk).
- I hate Akira Kurosawa movies. I'm sorry. I've tried. They just bore me.
- I like (most) Steven Speilberg movies. 1941 is a big exception. (Steven, were you on crack or what?)
- I love (most) Tom Robbins books. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is a big exception. (Tom, I won't even ask what you were on when you wrote it.)
- I dislike most plays by Tennessee Williams. I particularly loathe The Glass Menagerie. However, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is one of my favorite plays (go figure!).
- Two of my favorite bands, nobody's ever heard of: The Fenians and Minus Ted.
- I have a huge, big, gargantuan lust for Alan Rickman.
- I can't do a French braid, though I've been instructed by the best.
- I can cut my own hair, but no one else's.
- I can do my own nails, but no one else's.
- I must never again help my daughter color her hair "Corvette Red." (This edict comes from our hair stylist, Nicolas.)
- I've never broken a bone.
- I've never had an injury that required stitches.
- I've never been thrown from a horse.
- I have been stepped on by a horse. (It should be avoided at all cost.)
- I have fallen from a horse. (This, too, I don't recommend.)
- All horse-related accidents were invariably due to something stupid I did.
- I was estranged from my mother for the last fifteen years of her life.
- I was beaten as a teenager by my mother. (Hence, the estrangement.)
- I consider my godmother, Lin White, to be the only truly loving parent I ever had - may she rest in peace (1934 - 1999).
- I have two half-sisters.
- I have one neice.
- I've been told that, unless Hell freezes over, I will only have that one neice, and no more.
- I know all the words to the song Danny Boy.
- I know all the words to the song Melancholy Baby.
- I know all the words to The Star-Spangled Banner -- but I still think America, the Beautiful should be our National anthem.
- I used to pretend I was Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz, when I was seven years old.
- I get my musical ability from my father, who has a great tenor voice, and taught himself guitar.
- I learned perfect pitch from my mother, who had a great ear, but no singing voice.
- I think I really became a good actress the day I decided to stop taking the advice of acting teachers.
- I've paid a lot of money for acting class.
- I have never been paid as an actress.
- I have been paid as a singer.
- I have never been published as a writer. Yet.
- I have red hair now, and I identify with red hair, but am a natural blonde. I think. It's been a while since I've seen my natural color.
- Sometimes, I forget I'm actually a blonde.
- Sometimes, I act like a blonde.
- Most times, I act like a redhead.
- Nobody gets me.
- I kind of like that nobody gets me.
- I was given up for adoption for the first three months of my life.
- I was taken back. (I was this [---] close to a clean getaway!)
- I have a half-brother that was given up for adoption -- his adoption stuck, lucky boy. (Found him once; lost him again.)
- My half-brother is a dead ringer for my mother.
- Food is my drug of choice.
- I usually only have about five or six alcoholic beverages a year (a 1/2 glass of champagne on New Years Day, a black-and-tan on St. Patrick's Day, one or two beers over the summer, a 1/2 glass of wine during the Thanksgiving or Christmas holidays).
- I have only smoked pot about ten times in my life.
- I hate the way pot makes me feel.
- I don't get high on life. (What's that all about anyway?)
- I do get high on Haagen Dasz Vanilla Swiss Almond ice cream. (Yeah, baby!)
- I take anti-depressants. (Doctor's orders.)
- I am soooo much happier when I'm taking anti-depressants.
- I love my daughter more than I love myself.
- I actually love myself a whole lot these days.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Friday, May 13, 2005
According to MemeGen.net, this is the celebrity I'm supposed to kill. I was banking on the Hilton sisters, but no. I'm sure it will be in a sordid little love triangle with Kate from A Twist of Kate. If I can't have him, no one will, you bitch!
(How I'm supposed to use the wooden mirror to kill him, I still can't fathom. But I'll bet it hurts a lot!)
Sorry, Kate. No, really... but the die is cast! Viggo is a freakin' all-you-can-eat worm buffet! (Don't make me scratch your eyes out!)
Friday, May 06, 2005
Okay, it was to reserve the name "Naked Voodoo Chicken Dance" for a blog.... but I have this germ of an idea... things I'd like to do on a blog that don't really fit on The Chron. My funny stuff. Maybe not so funny stuff.... Maybe just weird and obtuse and perverse.
Not that obtuseness and perversity don't have their place. Well, I guess they do now, because I've created this blog.
So, welcome home, Obtuseness and Perversity. This is your blog. Sit down. Put your feet up. Make yourself at home.
This may not work out as I intended, but the voices in the printer said I should do it. We never argue with them. They are bossy and mean.