Here's a picture of my new boyfriend. I came home last night after a day of particularly intense upheaval, personally and professionally, only to find that Tivo had, of its own accord, recorded an episode of Mega Disasters entitled Super Swarms, about locusts and their impact on humanity.
"This is stupid," I thought, as I highlighted the entry. "Who in their right mind would want to watch a documentary on loc...." But then I had to shut up, because the narrator was saying something utterly compelling about mandibles. And I was hooked.
This afternoon, Kimberly and I were talking about this. "Been watching Discovery Channel, have we?" she commented on my MySpace. And I remembered that I had no idea what channel it was on, because Tivo had recorded it for me. Just 'cuz. And I joked with her that if Tivo were a man, I'd have to marry him. Oh, sure... it's funny when you say it like this, but... let's think about it.
Tivo thinks of me once or twice during the day. A couple of times a day, something crosses Tivo's path and Tivo thinks, "Gee, I think Amanda might like this." Tivo lets me watch and rewind, watch and rewind, and never loses its patience. Tivo sometimes overdoes the lovin' by taking my Season Pass totally to heart and recording every blessed showing throughout the day of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, when I'd really be perfectly happy with just the 11 pm showing. I get a little peevish about this sometimes, until I remember that Tivo only wants to make sure my needs are being met. And then, I have to smile.
I've decided that these are the qualities I need to find in a man. Someone who puts up with my capricious, oddball ways without complaining. Someone who stops in every so often in the course of his day and says, "I must remember to show this to Amanda -- I think she'd get a charge out of it." Someone to whom my happiness is important. Someone who wants to edify and enlighten me, but in a sweet, entertaining way.
Tivo is my new boyfriend. Until such time as the human version walks through the door.
~C~
(cross-posted at MySpace)
I'd love to record something for you. Do you prefer Jerry Springer or the lovable antics of Maury?
ReplyDeleteWho's the one that has the "He My Baby Daddy!" shows. I think that's Maury. I confess that when I used to work out at Fox during the day, and could watch the little telly on the elliptical, if Maury was on with a "Baby Daddy" show, I HAD to watch it. It is compelling drama (if you allow yourself to forget that a poor, innocent child is at the mercy of these usually crazy nutbags!).
ReplyDeleteI did see one fairly sweet one where the guy had already married the woman and was raising the child as his, even though neither he nor his wife were positive he was the biological dad. He was. I was kind of taken aback when Maury looked a little disappointed.
Hmmmm... still... record me some Maury Baby Daddy shows. That's how you win my heart!!!
~C~
Catharine,
ReplyDeleteWho's your Baby Daddy?!?
Alas, no need for Maury there. My ex-husband my baby daddy. One look at the two of them, and no DNA test required.
ReplyDelete~C~