Wednesday, August 17, 2005

The Other Amanda Sowards

I have to submit a performance bio -- you know, those little blurbs they put in the programs of plays that say, "Ms. Sowards has enjoyed success in a number of local Los Angeles productions, including..." and then a list of all the things the performer has been in -- for the musical I'm doing in October. Because I'm inordinately lazy and am loathe to do anything more than once, I was doing a global search to find the old website that had my bio for the production of Godspell I did last year. A little "block and copy"... a little "cut and paste"... you get the picture.

So I googled "Amanda Sowards." I was pleased my main blog, Catharine Chronicles, popped up. And all of my fractal artword, which I display at a site called, came up, too. I even found somebody had written something so sweet, which was quoted in the Google description -- somebody had written, "Amanda Sowards is really beautiful." When I clicked into the site, however, I was shocked to find that I was not the Amanda Sowards to whom the compliment was directed.

There is (insert scary suspense music here) another Amanda Sowards. She's in high school. She's from North Caroline. She just won the Miss Carolina Cover Girl Photo Contest. You know what this means, don't you?

It means that my alterego is a teenage Southern beauty queen.

Like the song says, "I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God has a sick sense of humour, and when I die, I expect to see him laughing."*


*from Depeche Mode's Blasphemous Rumours


  1. Okay - Good Lord!

    She enjoys many things, including pageantry and snuba diving. Now - this is her own site, right? So why does she misspell scuba and then go out of her way to make the notation (sic)? I'm confused. Are these not her words?

    You know, you can e-mail Ms. Sowards, if you feel so led. :D You can also oblige her in her prayer request... **sigh**

    You're much more beautiful than that smelly teenage girl.

  2. I think I can pray without her help.... here goes.

    "Dear Lord,

    Thank you for never giving me the desire to lacquer my face and hair, smear Vaseline on my upper teeth, put on a glittery evening gown and parade up and down an aisle, begging for people to tell me how beautiful I am. Thank you for not making me be born in a state where such things are encouraged, and where football reigns supreme. Thank you for giving me religiously liberated parents, who haven't raised me to believe that all you have to do is smile pretty and ask people if they've accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, and your salvation is assured.

    For all these things, Lord, I thank you. Oh, yeah.... And... Could you teach the other Amanda Sowards how to spell if you have some time?



  3. You should also be thankful that your grandparents weren't "missionary's."

    Can I get an Amen???


  4. ....Ms. Sowards wishes to dedicate this performance to teenage southern beauty queens everywhere...

  5. And can I ask please, HOW are you managing to go to school, work, be a mom AND show up for rehearsals to do a musical!?!?!? (And which musical and where)

  6. Christopher S. Lister9:11 AM

    Well, who among us here doesn't love snuba diving? I know it one of my very favorite diversions, ranking right up there with snelunking, nock climbing, and snydiving. Still, in all, this girl definitely snares the snit out of me.


  7. Hey, now... That's not nice... maybe she has a sneech impediment.

    (Oh, we are so going to hell.)


  8. Just so you know it is SNUBA not scuba, its is similar to scuba.
    but the tank stay on a float above the water and is regulated so
    that you do not have to be certified to go down under. We did this
    in Hawaii and is great for those that are not certified yet.

  9. I am Amanda Sowards as well. I live in PA. Believe it or not!

  10. Hey, are you the graphic artist? I think we've e-mailed before. I have an Amanda Sowards (not me) in my Yahoo directory, and I know it's not the SNUBA queen.

    I've noticed there are a few of them out there.

  11. my name is Amanda Soward lol so when i googled myself... the first thing that popped up was my face book page.... then a bunch pf stuff about Amanda SowardS.... lol which is how i found this page... its very intersting to google yourself haha you never know what you'll find

  12. im Amanda Soward. i found this page by googling myself haha its always intersting... you never know what you'll find